Wednesday, June 29, 2005
the older I get...
And all those seemingly little things -
the books that come into your life
the articles your eyes land on and read -
the people you seem to randomly meet.
The songs that come to your ears.
Karma. (Maybe that's why you are here! Yes, YOU!)
I do believe in nothing being coincidence. Last winter, I was so depressed. Someone whom I thought was a friend had let me down, someone I had tried to be good to, and to this day he probably doesn't get it.
I decided that I would never, never help anyone again.
But that's not like me. I've spent a lifetime going all out for others. I needed to find my way again.
Well, on a Sunday morning in Feb., I had an unexplained urge to go to a horse expo. There I met someone who needed my help. But he wanted me to not just help him, but to help him help others. Big difference!
So I was shown the way. It wasn't just an accident.
But I've also learned: Even though you may not ask for anything in return, that's no reason to let yourself be treated badly. So many people need a caring friend, and it's OK to need some of that caring in return.
I have to second the notion of intention here. It's not as if you married John by accident, or as if Brian and Jesse came into your lives by accident .... And you're not a musician by accident, either. (I have tapes with quotes on how and why you chose to study koto!)
I have to admit that I don't believe in karma or chance per se, but I do believe in divine providence and free will (therefore, freedom of choice). And you've made a lot of great choices. That you've gained in the process - well, isn't that because you made commitments and gave of yourself, all along?
You are far richer than you will ever guess, and you give that back to others. All the time. Which is (dare I say it?!) intentional.